West Fife mum starts baby loss support group in Dunfermline

Kirsty Gresty's baby girl Elena was tragically stillborn back in April after being delivered, full term, via c-section at Kirkcaldy's Victoria Hospital and she is still struggling to cope with the grief. 

She told the Press: "What happens after you leave the hospital without your baby? You go home. Elena was full term so the car seat was in the car, the pram was built, the bed was built, all her wee drawers for all her clothes, nappies bottles, milk, everything was there for us coming home, but it was only me that came home.  

"You’re sitting with the overwhelming emptiness of, 'she should be here'. Your arms are empty."

Kirsty also struggled with all the baby equipment bought and assembled in anticipation of Elena's arrival, and found herself not knowing what to do with it.

"You don't want to pack it away," she said. "You don't want to bin it or give it away, it was your baby's. It’s Elena's stuff.

"You get flowers, and everybody's ‘sorry', but after a week or so everybody is at work, everybody’s got their own lives to go on with and the flowers and cards stop coming, everybody gets on with it. 

Elena was tragically stillborn in April 2024 Kirsty feels that showing the image of Elena will let other mums know that they are not alone. (Image: Supplied)

"I’m stuck in that room where the doctor came in with the machine; ‘I’m sorry your baby’s got no heartbeat.’

While Kirsty receives help and support from her friends, family, and charity organisations, she was looking for something closer to home. 

When she couldn't find a group like that, she decided to create one herself.

"Friends and family are supportive and I don't want to take away from the other charities, but here there's nothing.

"Naively you just think, I'll get pregnant, pick prams, get clothes, have the baby and go home. It’s not until you’re at the other side of the fence where all you go home with is the purple box and nothing else, that you’re then a part of a club.  

"It's not until you’re in that club that you realise there’s actually a lot more of us in here than I ever thought there was."

Kirsty Gresty is determined to bring bereaved families together.

She wants to create a group where everyone who has experienced baby loss can come together and support each other in whatever way they need. 

Kirsty said: "I wasn't the only person who lost Elena, I had a whole family who was waiting on her coming home so I'm just getting on with it, doing the school in the morning, putting my smiley face on but when nobody is there, I’m at the graveyard absolutely breaking my heart. 

"I'm not only looking to support only mothers of stillborn babies, I just want to support all mothers who planned a life with their child who now has every single day, occasion, Christmas, the first day of school, a whole lifetime of what ifs that we have to grieve.

"If you show up, and you're there, I'll know why you're there and you'll know why you're there and if you just want a cuddle and you just want to leave then you can just get a cuddle and leave.

"Ultimately really, I just want other women to know that this can be the loneliest time in the world but you're not alone, you are absolutely not alone.

"It's not just the death of our baby that we grieve, it’s everything that they never get to live or be there for, forever.

"It’s 2024, I lost Elena in April but how many women have left that hospital empty-handed before me and after me and why is it only now that something like this is happening?"

The group, named Remembering Elena And Her Angels, next meets on Wednesday, September 25 at The Royal British Legion in Dunfermline from 11am to 1pm.

Following this, meetings will take place every two weeks.